101 ways to mess up an interview

This blog has come a bit late,since i had my last interview months ago.But Better late than never.It is never too late to inflict your cruel bad jokes on ur poor readers,who will undoubtedly sit through this crap,because well..they are damned bored.So kindly note :Read this ONLY if u r BORED.Get the boredom out of ur system,let it make way for irritation,but please do not vent those feelings of "Oh i want to kill myself " feelings on my blog which unfortunately has a "comments" section .Frankly i am fed up of using that "delete" button.
So here goes..

101 was a bit of an exaggeration,but from my personal experience and also with help of some anecdotes from my collegues,i have compiled a small list and do's and don'ts.So read through.If u find it useful,well and good..otherwise u have wasted ur time reading a stupid list.Go and do something useful for a change...

• Do not be under the illusion that praising the HR will do u any good.I learnt that the hard way ,of course.Stereotyped questions,and Stereotyped answers.This is what an interview is basically.So in order to break the monotony,i ventured a different answer to the all so familiar question"where do u see urself 5 years from now??".I guess i should have said the stereotyped answer"project manager..blah blah..blah..".But NO..I had to say that i wanted to be in the HR department(Damn!!...why,ullas why?!!).Now this small statement was preceded by queries regarding the various intricacies of the HR department(I had different answers here also,ranging from "I am not aware,sir",to "I am not sure sir",To"I guess i should learn a bit more about man management",To"I am sorry sir".)So with the HR episode he was satisfied that i was no good for HR department.So techies followed.I guess i had a good time in the tech interview where he asked me concepts of networking,and i smiled all the way through,realising how bad a computer engineer i was.But i guess i have to be thankful to him for not giving up on me.C questions followed(Atlast i could say something positive).I did well on the C part,answering most of the questions.So the great ordeal of tech interview was over.


• MR was next and i am still unaware of itz expansion(I have a small notion that itz concerned with management..!!!.)As "luck" would have it,i preceded my college topper,so i guess i should have been prepared with a valid reason for my comparitively low marks in first year.And dutifully,she enquired about the reason.And what did i do ,I blabbered on and on about how careless ,and over confident i was(good work ,ullas!!.u r always on ur "game"...) during my first year.I was asked to do a presentation on my favourite subject (which i had found out the day before from a friend of mine!!) .That went off well,i suppose.Apart from the fact that it was difficult to keep a straight face,when the person whom u r "teaching" yawns with a frequency greater than a p IV dual core(Wow..my first nerdish joke ),things went off pretty smoothly.I came out of the room sorry for my teachers who face this ordeal day in day out,and in this case the frequency is massive, a supercomputer( second nerdish joke..i am getting good at this).
• Third round was a walk in the park,where basically i was subject to personal questions and the usual "describe yourself" stuff.A long day finally came to a close.

Well the fact that i tried all the 101 ways prescribed in the " what not to do " book of interviews,and still got the job plainly gives me the creeps.What the hell are they going to do with me.But i guess this blog should give confidence to buddding job hunters.Though i did mess up all the interviews, i messed it up well in a confident manner.I think that did it.

PS : Huge blog,the biggest of the lot by a long distance.(patting myself).I do use these bracket things a lot...hmm..