Cutting Short the English Languagec(FUSS)

How many times have u been in a situation when,during a conversation,the person u r speaking to,suddenly unleashes his vocab skills on u,words that u have never even heard before ,coming into the conversation?.I have been "there" quite a few times.So what do u do?.Nod Along,Try not to betray your ignorance,Smile (do this if u r quite sure that something funny is being told),and try to steer the conversation away from the topic as fast as possible.Steer to a topic that u r comfortable with,and in my case,that would mean football.Trying to steer the conversation,ensure that u don't fall into a deeper puddle of ignorance(For eg,i never steer into a topic remotely related to world war,geography,tamil or telugu movie industry,current affairs,art,psychology,pottery..basically anything that does not involve points,goals, or runs).But in the virtual world,i am this complete encyclopedia (more accurately,en.wikipedia.org).I never shy away from any conversation,be it arts,the korean conflict,or the latest work of salman rushdie.That is the power of the internet
For eg:
A chat session
Mr X: Did u see the latest allu arjun flick
(Me frantically opening the wiki page,typing in "allu arjun".... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allu_Arjun.. Success)
Me: u mean Desamuduru
Mr X: yeah ...grody
(Me cursing myself for not opening the thesaurus tab..long delay)
Me:Sorry man,slow net connection. Yeah,truly abominable.

All is well...

Until FUSS (Frequent usage of shortform syndrome) strikes the session."for" becomes 4,ok becomes 'k'.All this is well and good,since the shortcuts have some kind of resemblance with the original word.I use them too.But things get ugly when shortcuts with no resemblence to any
word come up.This is a situation when i get truly stumped.I become in control no longer.Even wiki cannot help me.

I still remember the first FUSS attack i encountered.I was in the middle of a comfortable conversation when the syndrome hit me."Oh,"BTW",i am still in cochin".The only single word close to the shortform was 'between'.Between in cochin.I laughed out loud(a phrase that would trouble me in the days to come).I blamed it on his keyboard,and let it go.The next time,i blamed it on his very poor knowledge of basic english grammar.The third time,i felt i ought to correct it.
Being a friend,and obviously being "superior" to him in regards to english grammar,like a true ambassador of the language,i said.."Dude,ur grammar sucks,why do u use between in all the wrong places.?".....In reply i got a "LOL"

Only After the 'by the way' disaster did i come to realize that even long 3 line phrases can be converted to 3 letter shortforms.The 'LOL' attack became more and more frequent.I escaped with the help of inumerable smileys in offer.That was my escape route.
Finally after 3-4 sessions i came to the conclusion that it had something to do with jokes,and after a lot of permutation and brain racking,i found success.Little did i realize that this was just the tip of the iceberg.I was to be harassed and embarassed by more FUSS attacks.

I Scaled the LMAO peak ,and is now staring at the big blank wall named ROFL.Since I get this response after a particularly bad joke,i am guessing this to be some extreme form of laughing.Like the guy is trying desperately to be polite.
Some of my guesses include
Running Out For Laughing
Rubbing Ointment for laughing
Rambo of fullscale laughter
Really old fashioned laughter
I am only sure that it ends with laughter or laughing.ROFTL is the truly extreme form,i am guessing.The guy desperately wants to kick my ass for inflicting such a cruel joke on him.But he can't.So he grinds his teeth,and types this.The word does remind me of a sound made by a barking dog which is forced to do so.

Running out for the laughter
Right on for the laughter
Ring on for terrific laughter
Or is it ROTFL?

It is not like,i don't use them at all.But i use them only when i am forced to use them.From this post u may have guessed how jobless i am,so u will definitely not wonder a lot about the battered keyboard.My laptop relatively new is not prone to this kind of battering,but is still holding up.But the keyboard in my pc gave up after a 2 year long memorable stint.And it is not unusual that during that stint,some of the keys just don't listen.I have had to endure chat sessions without using certain alphabets like 'D'(Owe it to FIFA '09 ),'B',etc.Certainly fun.
In fact i sometimes pose challenges to friends to find the letter that is not working.
The problem is not limited to pc keyboards.After my phone fell down for the 398th time,i have started noticing some unusual behavior.For eg ,in its early stages,some keys worked too well.
Once 2 was pressed,i got 20-30 '2's in a stretch.The phone switches off when i press 5.And When i switch off ,the contacts folder is opened.But in the late stages,i have 'a','b','c' and '2' completely off.So i have had to replace 'da' with dudes and dudettes.The phone is still suffering,so don't expect any sms from me with the letters 'a','b' or 'c'.And those people who has a '2' in their mobile number,i wont be contacting u anytime soon.


PS:Long post...refer to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jobless
I did get 'OMG',"WTF',in the first glance though..:)