Friday, August 22, 2008

The adventure on wheels...

Yes.Private Buses in cochin are more fun than any amusement park in the world.My life is full of adventure.Every single day is an adventure.The moment i step onto the bus,i become spiritual,i pray,i never look at the road,i pray again,and the moment i step from the bus,i thank god for making me still in one single piece.I have been lucky for the past 3 years,incredibly lucky.
The moment,u step onto the bus(which basically means getting a fingerhold..) u remain focussed,ur only aim ,to come out alive.Once u r inside the bus (with the help of a hundred thousand pushpulls,and a not so occasional steptoes) u dissolve into the bus.u and the bus becomes a single entity.u feel every jerk,every single pothole,every single sudden brake.u r subjected to the most intense aerobics session,where ur body gets atleast 3 complete rotations,in a single minute.The fact that therez a top secret, big money race between every single bus driver in cochin(thatz the only plausible explanation!!) does not help ur cause one bit.The bus that wins usually is my bus...(i am so damn lucky that i am still here to type this stuff..!!)
I guess the prize money is really really high.Bus is king.The driver is the emperor.I never prefer to sit near the window.Not just because,of the incredibly 'clean' air and the 'perfumed' smell in kaloor,but also because the approx distance between 2 buses travelling together is 1 inch.Then i become part of 2 buses.i can sense the sudden brakes,and the jerks of 2 buses.My pain is quadrupled,my fear octapled(is the word valid?),and my sense of adventure hexapled.When the bus reaches ur stop,u think that the adventure is over.If u attack the final phase of ur bus journey with complacency,u r doomed.Stepping or jumping out of the bus requires precision,and dare.Kerala tourism should really start promoting this as an adventure sport.

PS:I guess i did go too far,but the bus ride i had today was the greatest adventure of my life,to date.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Evolution..A Theory.

This is basically a very unprofessional,unethical,and a nonsensical perspective of evolution.Since senor charles darwin already found out the evolutionary cycle of humans,i intend to decipher the science of evolution of a sub species..(a dominant sub species ,especially in india),an engineering student.Since,the no of engineering colleges is increasing by the rate of one every second,and the people who actually know something about the engineering sciences are on the verge of extinction,special interest has been pouring in regarding engineering students.A study states that within a hundred years,if u throw a stone into space,the probability that it will hit an engineer is almost equal to one.So the study of the evolution process has been gaining steady interest.Since the study is absolutely rubbish,and i am fed up of following any format,the effort would be totally unprofessional.
Basically there are 4 stages in the evolution of an engineering student.The 4 stages,or the 4 years.I intend to describe the evolution process with some terms loosely connected to engineering.

Appearance
First Stage:u get to see ironed clothes,polished shoes,and dress that is officially your uniform.Unpolished shoes are frowned upon.Anything remotely "non" uniform is treated with utmost severity.Teachers tend to be dangerous species.Fear tends to be the dominant emotion.

Second Stage: Ironed clothes slowly moving out of fashion.Some distinct shades of the "official" colour appearing.Polished shoes frowned upon.The id card that was an integral part of ur uniform in the first stage disappears.Eyes are usually sleepy.New trends of haircuts start appearing,ranging from 'plain dumb' to 'awesome'.

Third Stage:Ironed clothes are history.The shades become intense,so much so that the 'official'
colour of the uniform cannot be traced.Each individual possesses a different shade.the word 'uniform' becomes obsolete.Smell always associated with the uniforms,and believe me..the smell is not pleasant.Haircuts are a thing of the past.ID card is buried in the sands of time,never ever to be recovered.

Fourth Stage.The pair nearest to ur bed is ur uniform.The colours dont matter."WHAT ID CARD?"

Mode of transport

First year:Legs..Cycles are a breathtaking sight.Bikes are out of this world.The college bus is the keyword.

Second Year:Bikes arrive on the scene.A second hand bike is a luxury."50 kmph..wow..awesome man..".Bus is still the keyword though in most cases.But bus is not "THE" thing.

Third Year:New Bikes.Old Cars.College bus is a rare sight.Speed limits become high.No of accidents proportionally increase.Fines become increasingly frequent,pockets increasingly light,parents proportionally angry.

Fourth Year: Car becomes a necessity.The maximum distance u can cover with ur legs is 50 metres.Anything beyond that leads to severe stress related problems.A 100 metre fourth year is a rare sight.Mistaken impression that the college bus has stopped service.Petrol bills cause of misery and hunger."Dude...Itz 100 kmph,u duffer...press the accelerator ,man!!.."

Tools Used

First year: A neatly arranged instrument box with 4 pens, red pen for underlining.All the necessary drawing tools.The college bag with a book for each subject.A time table card!!.
A thick heavy nokia handset.

Second Year:2 pens neatly arranged at the bottom of ur bag.A broken protractor that serves as the drawing tool.The college bag considerably lighter.The thick heavy phone replaced by a slimmer lighter phone.The time table is revealed by the person in the first stage of his evolution beside u.

Third Year: A single pen in ur pocket.Blood on ur fingers due to the sharp tip of the pen,while the pen is been dug out from itz tomb.A single book neatly divided 6 times for each subject on ur
hand. The time table is revealed gradually as the day progresses,by the teachers themselves.

Fourth Year:No pen or anything remotely concerned with scribing.Fortunately,u r satisfied easily..a refill will do..even a sharp tipped compass is good enough.Your book for the day(the one that u saw first,lying on ur table incidentally resembling kublai khan's latest exploits) neatly tucked into ur pants."Who cares about the time table".A high definition camera,an mp3 player,a web browser,also supposedly used for calling up people, always with u.

Behavioral Traits and Examination Syndrome

First Year:As described,fear dominant emotion.Tensions before the exams.Hours of study and revision.Internals is greeted with fear,and externals with pure horror.Teachers are treated with respect and fear.Assignments are punctually done.Attendance is close to 100 percent,and u curse urself if u miss a class.

Second Year: Fear gives way to arrogance.Night outs become rare.Revision is looked down upon.Intenals are treated with ease,but the externals are treated with respect.Assignments are punctually done by the first years(in terms of evolution),and copied with accuracy by the second
years.Attendance in cinema halls ,all time high.

Third Year: Night Outs become extinct.Internals are treated with grins,and externals with pure joy.50 pages assignments are condensed into 3 page assignments by the second years,and they are further condensed by the third years.Avoiding condonation becomes an objective.

Fourth Year:"Whatz the exam today,mate?"..

Though i have classified the various stages by time,usually anomalies happen.
Some people are completely evolved ,the moment they step onto college.A whole new evolutionary cycle needs to be created for these guys.Some,on the other hand never evolve.
Some guys reach unknown realms of evolution.But these gems are hard to find.So what stage of evolution are you in(pointing my finger at you)..??..

PS:A TV show type ending..my longest blog till date..