The adventure on wheels...

Yes.Private Buses in cochin are more fun than any amusement park in the world.My life is full of adventure.Every single day is an adventure.The moment i step onto the bus,i become spiritual,i pray,i never look at the road,i pray again,and the moment i step from the bus,i thank god for making me still in one single piece.I have been lucky for the past 3 years,incredibly lucky.
The moment,u step onto the bus(which basically means getting a fingerhold..) u remain focussed,ur only aim ,to come out alive.Once u r inside the bus (with the help of a hundred thousand pushpulls,and a not so occasional steptoes) u dissolve into the bus.u and the bus becomes a single entity.u feel every jerk,every single pothole,every single sudden brake.u r subjected to the most intense aerobics session,where ur body gets atleast 3 complete rotations,in a single minute.The fact that therez a top secret, big money race between every single bus driver in cochin(thatz the only plausible explanation!!) does not help ur cause one bit.The bus that wins usually is my bus...(i am so damn lucky that i am still here to type this stuff..!!)
I guess the prize money is really really high.Bus is king.The driver is the emperor.I never prefer to sit near the window.Not just because,of the incredibly 'clean' air and the 'perfumed' smell in kaloor,but also because the approx distance between 2 buses travelling together is 1 inch.Then i become part of 2 buses.i can sense the sudden brakes,and the jerks of 2 buses.My pain is quadrupled,my fear octapled(is the word valid?),and my sense of adventure hexapled.When the bus reaches ur stop,u think that the adventure is over.If u attack the final phase of ur bus journey with complacency,u r doomed.Stepping or jumping out of the bus requires precision,and dare.Kerala tourism should really start promoting this as an adventure sport.

PS:I guess i did go too far,but the bus ride i had today was the greatest adventure of my life,to date.

Evolution..A Theory.

This is basically a very unprofessional,unethical,and a nonsensical perspective of evolution.Since senor charles darwin already found out the evolutionary cycle of humans,i intend to decipher the science of evolution of a sub species..(a dominant sub species ,especially in india),an engineering student.Since,the no of engineering colleges is increasing by the rate of one every second,and the people who actually know something about the engineering sciences are on the verge of extinction,special interest has been pouring in regarding engineering students.A study states that within a hundred years,if u throw a stone into space,the probability that it will hit an engineer is almost equal to one.So the study of the evolution process has been gaining steady interest.Since the study is absolutely rubbish,and i am fed up of following any format,the effort would be totally unprofessional.
Basically there are 4 stages in the evolution of an engineering student.The 4 stages,or the 4 years.I intend to describe the evolution process with some terms loosely connected to engineering.

Appearance
First Stage:u get to see ironed clothes,polished shoes,and dress that is officially your uniform.Unpolished shoes are frowned upon.Anything remotely "non" uniform is treated with utmost severity.Teachers tend to be dangerous species.Fear tends to be the dominant emotion.

Second Stage: Ironed clothes slowly moving out of fashion.Some distinct shades of the "official" colour appearing.Polished shoes frowned upon.The id card that was an integral part of ur uniform in the first stage disappears.Eyes are usually sleepy.New trends of haircuts start appearing,ranging from 'plain dumb' to 'awesome'.

Third Stage:Ironed clothes are history.The shades become intense,so much so that the 'official'
colour of the uniform cannot be traced.Each individual possesses a different shade.the word 'uniform' becomes obsolete.Smell always associated with the uniforms,and believe me..the smell is not pleasant.Haircuts are a thing of the past.ID card is buried in the sands of time,never ever to be recovered.

Fourth Stage.The pair nearest to ur bed is ur uniform.The colours dont matter."WHAT ID CARD?"

Mode of transport

First year:Legs..Cycles are a breathtaking sight.Bikes are out of this world.The college bus is the keyword.

Second Year:Bikes arrive on the scene.A second hand bike is a luxury."50 kmph..wow..awesome man..".Bus is still the keyword though in most cases.But bus is not "THE" thing.

Third Year:New Bikes.Old Cars.College bus is a rare sight.Speed limits become high.No of accidents proportionally increase.Fines become increasingly frequent,pockets increasingly light,parents proportionally angry.

Fourth Year: Car becomes a necessity.The maximum distance u can cover with ur legs is 50 metres.Anything beyond that leads to severe stress related problems.A 100 metre fourth year is a rare sight.Mistaken impression that the college bus has stopped service.Petrol bills cause of misery and hunger."Dude...Itz 100 kmph,u duffer...press the accelerator ,man!!.."

Tools Used

First year: A neatly arranged instrument box with 4 pens, red pen for underlining.All the necessary drawing tools.The college bag with a book for each subject.A time table card!!.
A thick heavy nokia handset.

Second Year:2 pens neatly arranged at the bottom of ur bag.A broken protractor that serves as the drawing tool.The college bag considerably lighter.The thick heavy phone replaced by a slimmer lighter phone.The time table is revealed by the person in the first stage of his evolution beside u.

Third Year: A single pen in ur pocket.Blood on ur fingers due to the sharp tip of the pen,while the pen is been dug out from itz tomb.A single book neatly divided 6 times for each subject on ur
hand. The time table is revealed gradually as the day progresses,by the teachers themselves.

Fourth Year:No pen or anything remotely concerned with scribing.Fortunately,u r satisfied easily..a refill will do..even a sharp tipped compass is good enough.Your book for the day(the one that u saw first,lying on ur table incidentally resembling kublai khan's latest exploits) neatly tucked into ur pants."Who cares about the time table".A high definition camera,an mp3 player,a web browser,also supposedly used for calling up people, always with u.

Behavioral Traits and Examination Syndrome

First Year:As described,fear dominant emotion.Tensions before the exams.Hours of study and revision.Internals is greeted with fear,and externals with pure horror.Teachers are treated with respect and fear.Assignments are punctually done.Attendance is close to 100 percent,and u curse urself if u miss a class.

Second Year: Fear gives way to arrogance.Night outs become rare.Revision is looked down upon.Intenals are treated with ease,but the externals are treated with respect.Assignments are punctually done by the first years(in terms of evolution),and copied with accuracy by the second
years.Attendance in cinema halls ,all time high.

Third Year: Night Outs become extinct.Internals are treated with grins,and externals with pure joy.50 pages assignments are condensed into 3 page assignments by the second years,and they are further condensed by the third years.Avoiding condonation becomes an objective.

Fourth Year:"Whatz the exam today,mate?"..

Though i have classified the various stages by time,usually anomalies happen.
Some people are completely evolved ,the moment they step onto college.A whole new evolutionary cycle needs to be created for these guys.Some,on the other hand never evolve.
Some guys reach unknown realms of evolution.But these gems are hard to find.So what stage of evolution are you in(pointing my finger at you)..??..

PS:A TV show type ending..my longest blog till date..

Vacations..

Another blogging experiment ensues...
Vacations have been so damn boring that i have heard all songs from 'lovestory 2050' a million times,have tried learning spanish,tried to compose a book with myself as the central character..and finally the book(incidentally 3 pages) came out to be a glorius mixture of indiana jones ,lord of the rings,and catch-22.I can still recollect a sequence in which i was surrounded by 35 dramingos(my version of dementers)and with the help of my elf friend came out unscathed..and incidentally the only weapon i had was a whip.With this terrible experiment,i came to the conclusion that i am worthy only for writing crap blogs.Learning spanish was also interesting.It lasted exactly 3 days 22 hrs,since the learning tapes took up too much hard disk space, i may never go to spain and hook up with a spanish girl,my spanish will never make my english sexy,and my mom found me annoying since i was trying my spanish on her.She dutifully reminded me that my english was bad enough.So another lesson taught.You may never end up in a latin country with a hot chic(Puff!!..there goes another dream down the drain). So basically i have fulfilled my dreams .I have had a vacation.I havent done anything useful or productive by ANY means.i have slept like a log day and night..I haven't touched (literally) any book remotely related to college(no,not even the bus pass).S6 books remain on my table reminding me of a sacred relic untouched,but the table itself looks like the warfield of chenghiz khan.NO MERCY..whatsoever.
But i think i have inflicted more punishment on my computer.I would never like to be my computer.She has suffered a lot.Viruses from every part of the universe have attacked her.I have never tried to protect her.But she has never complained.She is still soldering on bravely.Though slowly,but steadily her time is nearing.I should mourn for her,but the insensitive brute i am,i never will.My keyboard has suffered equally.Every key has been battered and bruised by my gmail account.I feel sorry for the people who are inmy chat list.They would be uttering my name in their sleep.I am ALWAYS online.I am so utterly butterly jobless that i experimented cooking.I was thrown out of the kitchen though.Seems being bored does not necessarily mean u can cook.I have vowed to never enter the kitchen for anything other than eating(forced out of my mouth by a very disgruntled mom).
I am so utterly butterly jobless(i should think abt writing a poem) that i am writing reviews for the films i have seen,and the books i have read.I intend to byheart a list of names (classic books) for the pleasure of the intelligent chics( which some say are 'real',though no living proof has yet been found).In the mean time,i plan to read calvin hobbes,tintin and archies.Sitting through a classic movie has never been painful for me since it involves sitting in a nice couch,staring at a screen ,all the time concentrating on the bag of chips in ur hand.So basically i did watch a lot of classics.
TV has been a great experience for me. 80+ channels and i discover that i am not interested in any.I did watch Friends a couple of zillion million times,and can quote jokes out of it.I did watch the baweja kid with weird clothes dancing to pretty poor music in front of pink haired priyanka in a movie titled lovestory 2050 ,a zillion times.
The fact that atleast a single person got through to the end of this blog reminds me.I am not ALONE.Welcome buddy.

PS: thanks sabith for the inspiration...

Back To The Future..

Year 2020

Venue:Cusat(also to be declared as IIIIET(expansion ,frankly is too long)itz not yet official,but will happen within an YEAR or so)

I walk in and see faint "romeos" etched across the switchboard,the electrical wiring,works of the class "artist" and realizes,i was back..back to my college after 10 years.So many things have changed ,yet so much is still the same.The benches are still the same,the encryptions bearing testimony to our college life,some "unfortunate" drawings still etched on to the benches....

It was the first alumni meet conducted by our college.I had recieved the letter a month ago,and was plain excited to meet my old mates,most of whom i had lost correspondence with,excited to see how they have changed,how they have not.And here i was,in the best classroom i have ever been..room no 18.So many familiar faces surround me..Familiar faces..a few celebrities as well.The class representative ,nerd Sandeep(IDEA star singer,2016) had thrown his well paid job away,and was into playback singing,making a great living out of it.Some ppl had changed after all.

The Dubai man as we used to fondly call him was indeed literally a "dubai" man,earning in lakhs,driving around the latest offering from Tata Royce.But sanju had not changed,well apart from the slightly balding forehead,he still came up with the most atrocious jokes ,which we still found funny,btw.I could spot nesha,kutts and neetu having an animated conversation,probably reminiscing..nesha had turned out to be quite a famous anchor and with her multicultural background ,was hosting shows all over south india!!.

Another "celebrity" walks up to me ,breaking into a grin,Mr S.Vasudevan formerly known simply as sanoop,sporting a stylish bulgan, was a highy paid film critic(paid to watch movies!!).Here was a guy,who actually loved his job.!!.. With horn-rimmed glasses,and hair tied up like a bun,sunita really did transform herself from a soft spoken ,helpful girl to a powerful lady,an integral cog in a corporate machine,keeping her innumerable assistants on their toes,barking orders left,right and center..People do change...

But some never change..Half an hour LATE,another familiar face walks in,but now he is the chief animator of a big time studio producing movies of the likes of Shrek 14,but the credits never show his name,why,because he is too damn lazy to attend any meeting..I could spot few of my northie friends nitish,nikesh,pandey and co having a good time.They were all accompanied by their beautiful 'biwis'....Sumesh,true to his tastes, had opened up a chain of gymnasiums over the state,and was raking in lots of cash..

Ryan,(who incredibly did not ask me for any treat!!..) had turned out to be involved in gaming(no suprises there!..),and sreeni ,alongside him was working in a reputed firm.
All of us,were in fact doing well.But we were all missing college life.Those 4 years of "hell".And as i walked into my classroom,all those memories came back...the "amazing" free periods,the silly crushes,some strong friendships,some silly fights(NOT the head banging ones!!..).Friendships stronger than steel were forged here,friendships that withstood the test of time.
The 4 years had changed us all,in some way,but finally we were left with the memories ..When i looked around the room,i felt a sense of grief..we all did..
Ultimately,we were never gonna get back those 4 years...

PS: When i am murdered(which i will be in the near future),i do NOT want the CBI investigating the case..the background music irritates me....though TV coverage will be kinda cool...hmm..

A Hectic Month!!!...Sixth Semester has been a whirlwind ride!!..The first internals come,and they literally knock u off ur feet,leaving u breathless,and suddenly u realize that the deadline of ur project rough report is the next day,and u sit and type a whole load of crap (Owe it to my groupmates who have been tremendously "supportive",one (unfortunately my best friend) is still excited that he did the cover page and the title page ,the other frankly was unaware of any project whatsoever(who.,.what project..???),and the third member blissfuly escaped...So Finally I had to type 30 pages of crap ,and then realize that my format was wrong..What the heck is wrong with font size 14??!!!..So aftr 30 pages of shit, lot of swearing,i was back to ground zero.
Oh By the way,small matter of placements were going on side by side.Lady luck favoured me there,and i did land myself with a job.So i have to "sell my soul" to TCS,well who cares,i want the money.The interview process was fun,especially the part where i had to sell myself.Sincere,Confident,Talented,Motivated,Commited(Woah i did say a lot of crap..pls god forgive me..!!).I guess I could say a lot more.HR was a good guy(his only disqualification being,he was a Man.U Fan)Well i guess i could forgive him,after all he did not eliminate me.A great week for cricket as well,with the teens and the men making india proud.Better week for Arsenal Fans,yeah we knocked off the champions of europe. A Week of confessions....
Well thats all,i guess since tomorrow i have another set of internals,and writing personal anecdotes wont help me pass Data/Digital Signal Processing(I am not sure bout the full form..).
PS:I guess my first personal blog...nice..

101 ways to mess up an interview

This blog has come a bit late,since i had my last interview months ago.But Better late than never.It is never too late to inflict your cruel bad jokes on ur poor readers,who will undoubtedly sit through this crap,because well..they are damned bored.So kindly note :Read this ONLY if u r BORED.Get the boredom out of ur system,let it make way for irritation,but please do not vent those feelings of "Oh i want to kill myself " feelings on my blog which unfortunately has a "comments" section .Frankly i am fed up of using that "delete" button.
So here goes..

101 was a bit of an exaggeration,but from my personal experience and also with help of some anecdotes from my collegues,i have compiled a small list and do's and don'ts.So read through.If u find it useful,well and good..otherwise u have wasted ur time reading a stupid list.Go and do something useful for a change...

• Do not be under the illusion that praising the HR will do u any good.I learnt that the hard way ,of course.Stereotyped questions,and Stereotyped answers.This is what an interview is basically.So in order to break the monotony,i ventured a different answer to the all so familiar question"where do u see urself 5 years from now??".I guess i should have said the stereotyped answer"project manager..blah blah..blah..".But NO..I had to say that i wanted to be in the HR department(Damn!!...why,ullas why?!!).Now this small statement was preceded by queries regarding the various intricacies of the HR department(I had different answers here also,ranging from "I am not aware,sir",to "I am not sure sir",To"I guess i should learn a bit more about man management",To"I am sorry sir".)So with the HR episode he was satisfied that i was no good for HR department.So techies followed.I guess i had a good time in the tech interview where he asked me concepts of networking,and i smiled all the way through,realising how bad a computer engineer i was.But i guess i have to be thankful to him for not giving up on me.C questions followed(Atlast i could say something positive).I did well on the C part,answering most of the questions.So the great ordeal of tech interview was over.


• MR was next and i am still unaware of itz expansion(I have a small notion that itz concerned with management..!!!.)As "luck" would have it,i preceded my college topper,so i guess i should have been prepared with a valid reason for my comparitively low marks in first year.And dutifully,she enquired about the reason.And what did i do ,I blabbered on and on about how careless ,and over confident i was(good work ,ullas!!.u r always on ur "game"...) during my first year.I was asked to do a presentation on my favourite subject (which i had found out the day before from a friend of mine!!) .That went off well,i suppose.Apart from the fact that it was difficult to keep a straight face,when the person whom u r "teaching" yawns with a frequency greater than a p IV dual core(Wow..my first nerdish joke ),things went off pretty smoothly.I came out of the room sorry for my teachers who face this ordeal day in day out,and in this case the frequency is massive, a supercomputer( second nerdish joke..i am getting good at this).
• Third round was a walk in the park,where basically i was subject to personal questions and the usual "describe yourself" stuff.A long day finally came to a close.

Well the fact that i tried all the 101 ways prescribed in the " what not to do " book of interviews,and still got the job plainly gives me the creeps.What the hell are they going to do with me.But i guess this blog should give confidence to buddding job hunters.Though i did mess up all the interviews, i messed it up well in a confident manner.I think that did it.

PS : Huge blog,the biggest of the lot by a long distance.(patting myself).I do use these bracket things a lot...hmm..

Fedexing To Glory..

Year:2001,And the Whole of Flushing Meadows bowed to a swiss.He had just won his first grandslam,losing a solitary set on his way to glory.The spectators knew that they were watching someone special,someone who could go on to become great.But little did they know that this guy was going to redefine greatness,But little did the world know that they were witnessing the birth of a STAR.Loosely defined word,but gains a multitude of meaning when referred to this great tennis ICON.No price for guessing!!,the name of this extraordinary swiss maestro,one Mr Roger Federer.

Switzerland represents beauty and style,and roger federer is itz perfect ambassador personifying the calmness of the alps,and the tenacity of the frequenting ice storms,all blended in a perfectly synchronized package.Federer represents all that is good about the sport,in fact he is the perfect ambassador for tennis.At times he brandished his racquet like a sword,while at times his strokes had the perfection only an artist could achieve.Pistol Pete had his serve,Becker had his brute strength,but Federer has his style.In my mind,he is the greatest ever,whether he breaks sampras's record or not.Stastics can speak,but it can never form the bigger picture.It can never describe the perfection of his backhand,the accuracy of his forehand,his Genius.It can never speak for his conduct on and off the field.My words do not do justice to his genius.but all i can say is, federer is the greatest player to grace a tennis court,and will remain so.