Back To The Future..

Year 2020

Venue:Cusat(also to be declared as IIIIET(expansion ,frankly is too long)itz not yet official,but will happen within an YEAR or so)

I walk in and see faint "romeos" etched across the switchboard,the electrical wiring,works of the class "artist" and realizes,i was back..back to my college after 10 years.So many things have changed ,yet so much is still the same.The benches are still the same,the encryptions bearing testimony to our college life,some "unfortunate" drawings still etched on to the benches....

It was the first alumni meet conducted by our college.I had recieved the letter a month ago,and was plain excited to meet my old mates,most of whom i had lost correspondence with,excited to see how they have changed,how they have not.And here i was,in the best classroom i have ever been..room no 18.So many familiar faces surround me..Familiar faces..a few celebrities as well.The class representative ,nerd Sandeep(IDEA star singer,2016) had thrown his well paid job away,and was into playback singing,making a great living out of it.Some ppl had changed after all.

The Dubai man as we used to fondly call him was indeed literally a "dubai" man,earning in lakhs,driving around the latest offering from Tata Royce.But sanju had not changed,well apart from the slightly balding forehead,he still came up with the most atrocious jokes ,which we still found funny,btw.I could spot nesha,kutts and neetu having an animated conversation,probably reminiscing..nesha had turned out to be quite a famous anchor and with her multicultural background ,was hosting shows all over south india!!.

Another "celebrity" walks up to me ,breaking into a grin,Mr S.Vasudevan formerly known simply as sanoop,sporting a stylish bulgan, was a highy paid film critic(paid to watch movies!!).Here was a guy,who actually loved his job.!!.. With horn-rimmed glasses,and hair tied up like a bun,sunita really did transform herself from a soft spoken ,helpful girl to a powerful lady,an integral cog in a corporate machine,keeping her innumerable assistants on their toes,barking orders left,right and center..People do change...

But some never change..Half an hour LATE,another familiar face walks in,but now he is the chief animator of a big time studio producing movies of the likes of Shrek 14,but the credits never show his name,why,because he is too damn lazy to attend any meeting..I could spot few of my northie friends nitish,nikesh,pandey and co having a good time.They were all accompanied by their beautiful 'biwis'....Sumesh,true to his tastes, had opened up a chain of gymnasiums over the state,and was raking in lots of cash..

Ryan,(who incredibly did not ask me for any treat!!..) had turned out to be involved in gaming(no suprises there!..),and sreeni ,alongside him was working in a reputed firm.
All of us,were in fact doing well.But we were all missing college life.Those 4 years of "hell".And as i walked into my classroom,all those memories came back...the "amazing" free periods,the silly crushes,some strong friendships,some silly fights(NOT the head banging ones!!..).Friendships stronger than steel were forged here,friendships that withstood the test of time.
The 4 years had changed us all,in some way,but finally we were left with the memories ..When i looked around the room,i felt a sense of grief..we all did..
Ultimately,we were never gonna get back those 4 years...

PS: When i am murdered(which i will be in the near future),i do NOT want the CBI investigating the case..the background music irritates me....though TV coverage will be kinda cool...hmm..

A Hectic Month!!!...Sixth Semester has been a whirlwind ride!!..The first internals come,and they literally knock u off ur feet,leaving u breathless,and suddenly u realize that the deadline of ur project rough report is the next day,and u sit and type a whole load of crap (Owe it to my groupmates who have been tremendously "supportive",one (unfortunately my best friend) is still excited that he did the cover page and the title page ,the other frankly was unaware of any project whatsoever(who.,.what project..???),and the third member blissfuly escaped...So Finally I had to type 30 pages of crap ,and then realize that my format was wrong..What the heck is wrong with font size 14??!!!..So aftr 30 pages of shit, lot of swearing,i was back to ground zero.
Oh By the way,small matter of placements were going on side by side.Lady luck favoured me there,and i did land myself with a job.So i have to "sell my soul" to TCS,well who cares,i want the money.The interview process was fun,especially the part where i had to sell myself.Sincere,Confident,Talented,Motivated,Commited(Woah i did say a lot of crap..pls god forgive me..!!).I guess I could say a lot more.HR was a good guy(his only disqualification being,he was a Man.U Fan)Well i guess i could forgive him,after all he did not eliminate me.A great week for cricket as well,with the teens and the men making india proud.Better week for Arsenal Fans,yeah we knocked off the champions of europe. A Week of confessions....
Well thats all,i guess since tomorrow i have another set of internals,and writing personal anecdotes wont help me pass Data/Digital Signal Processing(I am not sure bout the full form..).
PS:I guess my first personal blog...nice..

101 ways to mess up an interview

This blog has come a bit late,since i had my last interview months ago.But Better late than never.It is never too late to inflict your cruel bad jokes on ur poor readers,who will undoubtedly sit through this crap,because well..they are damned bored.So kindly note :Read this ONLY if u r BORED.Get the boredom out of ur system,let it make way for irritation,but please do not vent those feelings of "Oh i want to kill myself " feelings on my blog which unfortunately has a "comments" section .Frankly i am fed up of using that "delete" button.
So here goes..

101 was a bit of an exaggeration,but from my personal experience and also with help of some anecdotes from my collegues,i have compiled a small list and do's and don'ts.So read through.If u find it useful,well and good..otherwise u have wasted ur time reading a stupid list.Go and do something useful for a change...

• Do not be under the illusion that praising the HR will do u any good.I learnt that the hard way ,of course.Stereotyped questions,and Stereotyped answers.This is what an interview is basically.So in order to break the monotony,i ventured a different answer to the all so familiar question"where do u see urself 5 years from now??".I guess i should have said the stereotyped answer"project manager..blah blah..blah..".But NO..I had to say that i wanted to be in the HR department(Damn!!...why,ullas why?!!).Now this small statement was preceded by queries regarding the various intricacies of the HR department(I had different answers here also,ranging from "I am not aware,sir",to "I am not sure sir",To"I guess i should learn a bit more about man management",To"I am sorry sir".)So with the HR episode he was satisfied that i was no good for HR department.So techies followed.I guess i had a good time in the tech interview where he asked me concepts of networking,and i smiled all the way through,realising how bad a computer engineer i was.But i guess i have to be thankful to him for not giving up on me.C questions followed(Atlast i could say something positive).I did well on the C part,answering most of the questions.So the great ordeal of tech interview was over.


• MR was next and i am still unaware of itz expansion(I have a small notion that itz concerned with management..!!!.)As "luck" would have it,i preceded my college topper,so i guess i should have been prepared with a valid reason for my comparitively low marks in first year.And dutifully,she enquired about the reason.And what did i do ,I blabbered on and on about how careless ,and over confident i was(good work ,ullas!!.u r always on ur "game"...) during my first year.I was asked to do a presentation on my favourite subject (which i had found out the day before from a friend of mine!!) .That went off well,i suppose.Apart from the fact that it was difficult to keep a straight face,when the person whom u r "teaching" yawns with a frequency greater than a p IV dual core(Wow..my first nerdish joke ),things went off pretty smoothly.I came out of the room sorry for my teachers who face this ordeal day in day out,and in this case the frequency is massive, a supercomputer( second nerdish joke..i am getting good at this).
• Third round was a walk in the park,where basically i was subject to personal questions and the usual "describe yourself" stuff.A long day finally came to a close.

Well the fact that i tried all the 101 ways prescribed in the " what not to do " book of interviews,and still got the job plainly gives me the creeps.What the hell are they going to do with me.But i guess this blog should give confidence to buddding job hunters.Though i did mess up all the interviews, i messed it up well in a confident manner.I think that did it.

PS : Huge blog,the biggest of the lot by a long distance.(patting myself).I do use these bracket things a lot...hmm..

Fedexing To Glory..

Year:2001,And the Whole of Flushing Meadows bowed to a swiss.He had just won his first grandslam,losing a solitary set on his way to glory.The spectators knew that they were watching someone special,someone who could go on to become great.But little did they know that this guy was going to redefine greatness,But little did the world know that they were witnessing the birth of a STAR.Loosely defined word,but gains a multitude of meaning when referred to this great tennis ICON.No price for guessing!!,the name of this extraordinary swiss maestro,one Mr Roger Federer.

Switzerland represents beauty and style,and roger federer is itz perfect ambassador personifying the calmness of the alps,and the tenacity of the frequenting ice storms,all blended in a perfectly synchronized package.Federer represents all that is good about the sport,in fact he is the perfect ambassador for tennis.At times he brandished his racquet like a sword,while at times his strokes had the perfection only an artist could achieve.Pistol Pete had his serve,Becker had his brute strength,but Federer has his style.In my mind,he is the greatest ever,whether he breaks sampras's record or not.Stastics can speak,but it can never form the bigger picture.It can never describe the perfection of his backhand,the accuracy of his forehand,his Genius.It can never speak for his conduct on and off the field.My words do not do justice to his genius.but all i can say is, federer is the greatest player to grace a tennis court,and will remain so.

Self Analysis..Mission Failure

A New Day..A new post..After a Long gap..ur favourite blogger is back..and back with more humour,more analysis,in short bigger and better (I was born "humble").And I am back to where i started.Typing nonsensical shit.Period

Self Analysis..Something which i found out i could do any second of the day.Something which i could do without getting any attention.Something that ppl rarely do,and they realize that only when they are asked to fill their "about me" in their orkut profile.Some people use that space to make themselves feel important,mysterious.I am not blaming them in any way.Coz orkut is a social networking site,and like any society,people crave popularity,"cool dude" label.That is normal human attitude.Well the crux of the matter is everyone do need recognition,fame,social standing.Well the fact that i am writing this blog bears testimony to that huge fact.Lemme elaborate.In the line before,i could have used "fact of the matter" instead of "crux of the matter",but i did not ..why??..Coz i wanted to flaunt my vocabulary.Some ppl on the other hand use the all so familiar phrase "Find it out",or another one is "I dont know" which i feel is closest to the truth.Please check out my "about me",and u will realize how much little i know of myself.God..me evolving..What a bad piece of humour.
So what should i write about myself???(The all so familiar question)I am certainly not humble ,but not egoistic.I have this particular feeling that i have a great sense of humour,but then some very dear friends of mine always bring me back to earth.But i do still believe that i have a pretty good sense of humour(Fortunately they cannot edit my blog..i am saved).Though i do crack jokes at the wrong time(pretty serious offence..bad timing has caused me much embarassment,and since i am the one who is taking the pains to type,i am not elaborating).I am loyal(something which i am proud of).I feel pretty confident that the comments for this blog would Never be flattering,and i feel pretty lucky that i can edit and delete those comments with ease.But then i know that the comments always remain empty,coz the number of readers is not even a handful.
So I have come to the conclusion that i have boosted myslelf up ,which was the intention of this blog in the first place..!!(Who am i kidding here!!..)..and those people who have had the patience to read this huge mass of crap ,i applaud u.Patience is definitely something that u can write in your "about me"

PS:Wow what an ending(There i have ruined the ending again..why do u need a postscript ullas,why..aren't u tired of ur own jokes!!)..

Engineering..Why?,what?,and How?

This post is dedicated to the umpteen number of engineers springing out every microsecond.This may sound like a hyperbole,but it does not stray far from the truth..So i am sketching out,here an ordinary day of an engineering student...(for my convenience,a typical engineering student will be described by the letter X..(I am too lazy to type..i am a typical engineering student).

X's day starts with the alarm clock ringing at 3 in the morning,coz X promised himself the previous day,that he would wake up early to study.So the clock rings at 3,and it is duly switched off.The mobile alarm rings at 3:05(again dutifully switched off)X trusts himself very "deeply",so he puts 5 reminders on the phone,5 mins apart.,and hence X wakes up at 7..cursing the mobile.(X forgets mobiles do not work when switched off!!..).X curses himself for not studying the previous day.X has an external exam at 9:30.So X decides to revise whatever he has studied..but finds that task easy,coz he has studied nothing.So X roams around trying to find something to do,and realizes in a jiffy,that he has a downloaded movie to see.X is happy..
After scrolling through the movie,X remembers that he had made plans for jogging everyday,to maintain his fitness.X looks outside.Realizing that no girls were around,X
drops his plans.X shifts his focus back to the movie.X realizes his folly when he looks at the clock.10 mins for the college bus. Everything is in fast forward for the next ten mins,and miraculously X is ready,stuffing a piece of bread into his mouth,X runs to the bus stop.As luck would have it,X is exactly in time for the bus.Settling comfortably into his seat,X prepares himself for a long argument with the bus conductor.Since X is not prepared to part with his valuable pocket money,and X has not taken a bus card since the first one,he shows that one (yeah..the antique bus card..to be handled delicately,since a small mistake would lead to complete destruction).Another argument ensues,and X promises to buy the new card.(to be noted : he dint specify 'when').The college bus ride is a pretty calm affair.
College time...X is ready,and raring to satisfy his lust for education.X arrives in college,late by 30 mins,but is not thrown out,since the teacher always comes late by 45 mins.The most interesting part of the class begins,a phase where each and every student in the class is attentive,yes the deeply satsifying attendance call.X heaves a huge sigh of relief,after the attendance ,since he is still maintaining the required attendance,and notes the percent down in his spl attendance book..a carefully maintained record to ensure that he has exactly 75%.After the deep sleep..er..i mean the end of a deeply enlightening educational experience,X feels the all so familiar rumble in his tummy.Lunch Time..X rushes down to the canteen ,only to find that all the seats are taken.After a long wait,food is finally served.X is so hungry that he could eat even garbage,so he devours the food in front of him which incidentally is worse than garbage.
To be continued(i gotta sleep now..gotta wake up early tomorrow..!!..3 am)

Truckload of Rubbish!!!..

The "Man of the Moment" one Mr Sepp Blatter has once again given us, the footballing audience a glimpse of his total ignorance for the game..Yes he is the FIFA president,but some of his so called "ideas" make me realize the politics involved.This "innovative" president is set to make a lot of changes ,"revolutionizing" soccer,but the sanctity of his new changes definitely does not invoke in me,a love for the game....His first "innovation" came in the form of the most absurd law stating that players should be booked ,if they celebrate by removing their shirt.What the hell is that About!!!..,Itz the joy of hitting a goal that inspires such celebrations..not their urge to show off their Body.Blatter definitely has got his priorities wrong big time..Thatz not all..Blatty is not happy still...Now he wants a quota system in club football.You heard it right..,he wants a minimum of 5 playes in a club that belong to the country ,that the club is part of...DESPICABLE..So lemme give some implications here..,arsenal an international club side..has to replace the likes of fabregas,van persie with guyz like andy johnson..(no disrespect to him)..
Frankly,this is total rubbish..How the hell,can international teams improve if the league ,their players are involved in ,is deprived of quality .Consider the sole english player,theo walcott in the arsenal side..Wenger took him bcoz of his potential,not his nationality(for godz sake!!..)..and the guy will surely fulfill his great potential,rubbing shoulders with some amazing talents like cesc,rosicky,hleb..,etc.And theo is bound to be a superstar..Given a choice..one great player..or 12 average players..the choice anyday would be the former....Yes,blatter's policy will result in 12 average players,but that sparkling superstar whoze presence is enough to cause fear into the opposition will be missing.
A small request to blatter..stop this experimentation..Let the Game remain Simple.....